The Seven Skills You Need For A HAPPY MARRIAGE
Mastery Course for Couples: Five week webinar series
This is a great course to take as part of your premarital counseling to start off with the right skills. This is also a great course to take if you are trying to save your marriage or if you are looking for clarity on “is this the right relationship for me?”
Skills course for you to transform your relationship. Watch the webinars whenever its convenient for you. (You don’t have to be married- you just have to want to go deeper)
This course will answer the questions:
- Why can’t we create the marriage we want?
- Our intentions are good so why do we keep fighting?
- How can we resolve the Hot Button issues that we never agree on?
- What do we need to do to get back to connecting sexually in a juicy loving way?
- What skills do we need to learn to have our marriage be the one we have always dreamed of?
How would your marriage change if:
- You could learn to communicate from your heart,
- Feel heard and respected,
- Rekindle the love that brought you together,
- Understand why some issues keep recurring,
- Feel appreciated for all you do,
- Feel like you two are on the same team?
Creating the marriage that fulfills want you have been longing for. We don’t always know what that would look like. But you can join the course and find out what that is for you and how to have it.
I have created a set of shared agreements in the course that I have found are the foundation of a happy marriage. You are going to discover how you can create a a partnership that allows you to count on each other and be each other’s greatest ally.
The New Story
Are you two willing to build a new story about your relationship? You will learn the skills it takes to step into the new story that can transform how you see your marriage and create what you have been yearning for.
You can do this!
In the 5 week course on The Seven Skills You Need For A Happy Marriage I have developed a very clear map of skills that help you identify where you are and where you want to go. It includes skills that everyone needs and no one taught us! It covers hard subjects like what has been causing you to find yourself in the same fight, in the same pattern, in the silent despair or the overt anger and how to get through it together.
We might not know how to create the relationship you want but you can discover how. My clients have told me that they didn’t think they could get their partner to change. And then they saw that once their spouse learned some new skills they could begin to create a new way of relating that made them feel like true allies in life. A client-Janice, told me she had always been afraid of her husband’s anger. When he yelled she would freeze. Once they learned these skills he began to see that he didn’t have to start yelling to get her attention. He could ask her to listen to him and when he spoke to her more calmly she could listen and not freeze. Then they could problem solve as allies in a way that never worked before. I had a client Rob, who said once he learned the skills he understood how to change the way he related to his wife about their sexual relationship. When he had a conversation abut what she needed then their whole sex life began to have a new spark and more frequency. To realize the potential of a relationship we need to be on board together. To be on board we need to know how to communicate and learn what it takes to trust and be trusted. How to feel safe enough to tell your partner what you really want. How to be allies. We haven’t always had the power by ourselves to shift the bad habits in our marriage. But together we can do it!
I have made it my mission to discover the simplest, direct, and specific ways to create a happy marriage. Over the last 30 years I have continued to refine what are the critical ingredients that people have to learn to achieve the marriage they want. I have now worked with hundreds of couples and I found that these 7 skills are the keys to unlock the dreams you have for you relationship.
Skill #1 I call listening listening listening! This is so that you can begin to have more trust and stop arguing. Listening is basic and so many of us have never learned that listening doesn’t do any good if our partner doesn’t feel heard! I will show you how listening is as much about what you say to let your partner know that you are listening as it is about hearing. I am teaching about listening so that you can end recurring arguments finally get on to solutions. The first skill is listening- because listening is foundational- by that I mean everything rests on top of this. You can’t have a good house with an unstable foundation. The same is true for a marriage. You need a good foundation of the skills of listening to have a happy or even just workable marriage. How is your foundation? Do you feel like you are understood? Do you know if your partner feels understood and heard?
My clients describe what happens when they take this course is they begin to realize they are no longer lonely and their anxiety begins to diminish.
Skill #2 – Appreciating each other so that you can hear how much you are loved. So that you look forward to coming home at night. With appreciations your husband might start to have little surprises for you when you come home after work. Or your wife might invite you bed early. When we feel appreciated we feel like giving! I’ll show you how this can happen.
One client, Jerry, told me “I didn’t know how much anger I had about not being appreciating for all my hard work at the office and it made me less willing to help out with stuff around the house. Now I feel like contributing more time and energy at home.”
I’ll be showing you one of the most important and well kept secrets in all of couples therapy: how to make all the skills you have learned work! And why they haven’t! Would you like to learn how there are parts of you that sabotage your connection because they are still using the habits that worked in your original family? And how to fix this! This skill of growing up involves understanding why it seems like we have so many conflicting parts and how to bring them together to form a more centered you who can be a better marriage partner.
Sarah shared that she was amazed to discover that because as a child she had been taught to be tough, she rarely shared her vulnerability with her husband. Until now he didn’t know that she needed more TLC. (Tender, loving care.) Now he hugs her when he comes home and makes sure to check in with her to see how she is doing.
Skill #4: Communication from the heart – so that you feel safe to be you. Speaking from the heart means allowing your partner to know what you are really feeling, who you really are, what you really think and hope for and are concerned about. Many times sharing feels too risky and we protect ourselves by communicating in an angry manner or not communicating at all. This skill will become a way that allows you both to feel safe and trusted and loved!
One of my clients, Jeff, told me that he never knew he could share his sadness because in his family he was taught it was only appropriate to be angry or intellectual. Once he learned to communicate from the heart, he was amazed to see how much closer he felt to his wife and how much more she shared with him.
Skill #5 Expressing your needs so that your partner can stop guessing and you can really have what you want! You will discover a whole new way of relating to your needs. You might discover you had thought having your own needs was selfish or you feared that no one would care or that your partner should just know! Once you get some clarity about what has been stopping you, then you can begin to ask for and receive what you have wanted.
My clients have said that when they start using this skill there is more laughter and good will in their conversations and that they can make decisions more easily about things that used to be hard to talk about.
Skill #6 Sex Ed. But not like in 5th grade! Now is the time to delve into the sexual intimacy of your relationship. In this week you will learn how to get out of the rut you may be in or rekindle the spark by learning what has gotten in the way. We will explore what women need in order to say “yes” to more sex. And what men need in order to feel empowered to express themselves more fully in the way that turns women on. Really.
Jack said, “What started to happen is that the ease and confidence I acquired allowed more of my true passion to be expressed in my own unique way. My wife became attracted to me again and I felt inspired to be a me I am proud of as a husband.”
Shared fun so that your partner becomes your best friend. Shared fun can be big or small. It can be a vacation to Italy or walk in the neighborhood. And we discover that even the little moments can feel nurturing. A back rub, a walk, going out for a coffee together. Celebrating your love and your marriage adds vitality, creativity and puts the pizazz back in your dance step.
Mirrah told me that “life feels more like a weekend. I am so much happier now that Carl and I are having more fun, even though the kids demand so much and life is crazy busy. it feels like we have a new start.”
1. Weekly Webinars consisting of an hour and a half to 2 hours of skill based learning and Questions and Answers. 2. Daily practices that go with the skills you have learned. You two will be creating the foundation for a new way of being together. They will build on each other and become the new habits for happiness. 3. My book The Seven Skills You Need for a Happy Marriage will be delivered to your inbox each week in Chapter installments that keep pace with the course. This will give you the background principals of each of these skill sets.
Some couples have reported that they needed to learn to become comfortable with actually having something wonderful! It might make us feel more vulnerable to have what we want. We might notice that our pattern with our friends and family might have been based on complaining about our partners. Couples have said that after they have gone through the course they have a feeling of safety and belonging – they have more ease in their life feeling supported by their marriage. They have even reported improved health and well being because they are no longer going to food for nurturing or sitting in front of sports all weekend to avoid being nagged. Some stereotypes are true! One email I got recently from a client told me that her marriage has become a partnership that she never expected she could have.
- You want your marriage to be better!
- You are not yet married because you are still exploring if you are right for each other
- You have wondered what happened to the person you married.
- You have felt lonely in your marriage.
- You don’t like how much you fight and can’t seem to get things resolved.
- Your marriage is ok but you know you could be happier.
- You don’t make enough time for one another.
- You feel like you are always walking on egg shells with your partner.
- You have taken workshops or seminars or even been in therapy and can’t seem to keep from falling back into bad habits with each other.
- You want your partner to understand you more
- Sometimes when you see other couples that look more connected to each other you feel jealous.
- You are just not happy in your marriage and want to try and fix it!
I used to teach this in my couples therapy sessions. Then I also started offering this course as a retreat for couples who would meet for for two or three days. In either format they would tell me it was the best thing they had ever done. Thanks to the wonders of online learning and technology I am so grateful to be able to offer the entire program for a price that is affordable for so many more couples.
I feel so happy and excited to be able to give you access to this and offer this whole program to you for the price of a few therapy sessions.
To recap what is included in the course on The Seven Proven Ways to Have a Happy Marriage:
** Weekly: Ninety minutes to 2 hours of skills teaching via webinar that you can have access to whenever you want. And questions and answers at the end of the webinar. ** Daily:Support you in mastering the skills you are learning. ** Chapters: Each week you will receive a Chapter of my book the Seven Skills You Need for a Happy Marriage. This book goes into even more depth on the foundations and principles that these skills are built on.
Your investment for the entire program is only
I want to encourage you and invite you to say yes to getting the skills and support that you have been wanting and needing to fulfill your potential and close the gap between what you have now and the marriage that you want. You can have the kind of relationship that you have always dreamed of.