Healthy Relationship Quiz- story
Have you taken the Healthy Relationship Quiz?
If not go to a previous BLOG Post
and see how you score!
Here is a snapshot from one of the 3 levels. Can you guess which level it’s from: Silver, Gold or Platinum?
Rebecca was teary, sitting there next to Robert in my office. She recounted the moment she knew she had had enough. All her life she had blamed herself for everyone’s behavior. If her father was mad she must have done something wrong. If her mother was disappointed she must not have been good enough. And now Robert her husband, had humiliated her at the party by getting drunk and calling her a bitch. It had happened before.
“I use to ignore it and then I would start to flirt with one of the single guys to try to feel I guess, some little bit of of power or assurance that I was attractive. This has been going on for a few years. As a result of this deep disappointment in myself and my marriage I was either withdrawn or bitchy way too much of the time. When I tried to ask you (she said looking at Robert) what was wrong with you- you would ask what was wrong with me.”
Robert shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his copper colored tan making creases in his furrowed brow.
“So what changed?” I asked.
Rebecca went on “I was listening to a podcast while cooking dinner 3 weeks ago and the speaker was asking if you died tomorrow what would be your biggest regret. And the light went on. I realized I am in a marriage in which I don’t feel respected or loved just like my parents marriage! Yikes. So later that night I said to Robert I need you to come to therapy with me because I want us to stay together but I need us to change how we are together or I’ll have to go.” He saw the truth in what she was saying. He too had a well of discontent he had not known how to express directly. His way had been to get drunk.
And 18 months later they are pregnant. they are committed to talking about anything that is bothering either of them. And they have skills to create the intimacy they had always wanted!
Now I have created a couples skills course https://www.marriage2deepen.com/course-for-couples/ You can learn the secrets of psychotherapy in this course.