How to have a healthy relationship

Healthy Relationship Quiz: Are you showing up for your man?

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Healthy Relationship Quiz: Are you measuring up with your man?

What is a healthy relationship and what are the signs of a healthy relationship?
This is a survey for women to understand how to have a healthy relationship.
Just like 3 precious metals Silver Gold and Platinum- we can be at different levels in our relationships skills. We can always learn the skills to grow to the next level if we want to!

On a page list the numbers 1-10. Answer YES or NO for each of these 10 questions.

  1. When your partner comes home from work you almost always stop what you are doing to greet him.
  2. You can easily think of three things you told your partner in the last 24hours that you appreciated about him.
  3. In a recent time when your partner was talking about something that made you upset, you made a choice to hear him out before disagreeing or interrupting.
  4. When what your partner did hurt your feelings you resisted the temptation to withdraw from him  or attack him but instead you shared your hurt feelings.
  5. The last time you made love you can remember one thing you did to let him know what you liked that you might want more of.
  6. In a recent fight you stuck to expressing yourself in non-blaming ways that talked about how you felt not what a jerk he was.
  7. In the last week you asked your partner to do something fun together- whether it was a small thing like a walk or a big thing like start to plan a trip.
  8. You can remember a time you were willing to give up being right or closed down in favor of staying connected.
  9. You can remember a time when you skillfully stood up for yourself because to not do that would cause resentment and create distance between you.
  10. In an effort to be more fully understood there was a time recently you told the truth about something you were either scared to share, ashamed about or just would usually have hidden.

Count up your YES’s. Are you wondering about how to have a healthy relationship?

If you answered yes to all these questions congratulations- you are at the Platinum Level -fully blossomed skillful woman demonstrating the signs of a healthy relationship. You have learned how to have a healthy relationship and are using your skills. If you still want a deeper connection sign up for the 5 week course for couples at

If you answered yes to 5 -9 of these questions you are at the Gold Level. You know how to stay connected a lot of the time. You demonstrate many of the signs of a healthy relationship. It would be good to add a few more skills to your repertoire – exploring in yourself what it would take to get to yes on more of these questions. You can learn how to have a healthy relationship at

If you answered yes 0 to 4 times then you are at the Silver Level. You have not yet opened to your potential to connect with your man. The good news is you are curious about this. There are many things you do that create distance even though that is most likely not what to be close and feel loved. Not to worry most everyone starts here! All it takes is the awareness that you want more and a willingness to take some action. You can get support to learn skills to have more intimacy and a healthy relationship starting today. See what I have created for you to learn how to have a healthy relationship.

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Shana Parker

Couples Coach, Licensed Psychologist, a well loved wife, proud mother, and writer.